Painstakingly Yours: 2009

Monday, February 16, 2009

Sexiest trashman ever! - w4m

Date: 2008-05-21, 4:19PM MDT

I know you probably get this a lot, but you are the hottest garbage man I have ever seen. Every Tuesday, I wait at my window desperately at 8:00 AM waiting for you. I love your strong muscles; not matter how heavy my waste is, you have no problem lifting it. Sometimes I hide bricks in there just so I can see your sweaty big muscles in real action. You may know my house specifically because I always leave my old lingerie lying on top of all my other trash. I put it out there for you, you know. I want you to have them. Don't worry, I spray a little perfume on them before I toss them so they don't smell anymore. Anyway, if you like what you see in my trash, come inside sometime, there will be plenty more of where that came from. ;)

Love,
Your Secret Admirer
P.S. I'm single with no kids. All the diapers are from my grandmother who lives with me.

• Location: My trash can
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Why doesn't anyone ever miss a connection with me?

Date: 2008-11-15, 2:56PM EST

Everywhere I go, I scan my surroundings and wonder if someone is secretly plotting a CL missed connection post for me. "We locked eyes briefly at the Dollar Store as you were picking out those heavy flow maxi-pads. You smiled at me so innocently. If this is you tell me what I was wearing"

Nothing.

I drive down the interstate and look in all the cars and then come home to check CL to see if anyone missed a connection with the "Sexy dark haired girl in the toyota going towards the MMBT on 664, you eyeballed me and picked your nose. I want to take you out."

Still nothing.

I get up every day, shower, get dressed and go out just so someone can miss a connection and look for me on CL.

Don't approach me in public. I'm waiting for you here.

• Location: All over Hampton Roads
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests